On pricing.

My current project is a book of personal stories written by women who have suffered miscarriage or stillbirth, or who have struggled to conceive. The book has a coordinator and she's the person I've been dealing with.

I love working on books {although my preference is for fiction}, even though it means a lot of early mornings and late nights. I love the challenge of working in-depth on a project. It can be pretty tiring when you're working full-time and fitting in editing around the job! But I love it, and I'm not going to stop doing it.

This project has been valuable for me because it has made me think about how I price my work. Pricing is a vexed issue for so many freelance editors. I know this because it comes up a lot in the Backroom {the editors' group I belong to on Facebook}. When you're a freelancer you can charge whatever you want; and you can charge however you want - by the hour, the page, the word, the project. There are almost too many options!

I admit I am a little bit squeamish about money. I have a fear of over-charging people. I am, after all, not yet qualified {nearly!} and I don't have years of experience behind me. So when a potential client asks me about my charges I usually tell them a figure that's much lower than I would like. I don't want to scare them off.

I've been charging by the word recently, because I thought that would be appealing to the client - it gives them certainty about the price. But in the case of this current project, it means I will end up working for less than NZ$10 an hour, I expect. And that's not sustainable.

I've decided that beyond this current crop of projects I will start charging by the hour. My hourly rate won't be high, but I won't be squeamish about charging for more hours than I think I need. It means I will need to learn to be savvy about how fast I work so I can work out an accurate rate.

I love a good plan.

I really do! Plans are so good, so motivating - they're like a map, showing you how to get from here to where you want to be.

I get a lot of satisfaction from ticking off the next goal on my plan.

But plans, unlike maps, have to be flexible to suit changing circumstances. I'll be spending a bit of time this weekend re-tweaking my work plan for the next months ... because I have a lot of stuff going on.

I have nearly finished my 11th assignment for my diploma; hopefully that will be done by the end of the weekend. That will leave me just one assignment left to wrap up my diploma!

I recently completed a free proofreading project for some friends. In return, they have offered to make me my very own website {they are website designers}. WOW. Launch date is planned for 1st July, so I'll soon have to start writing the text for my website.

An academic editing agency has asked me to test for them. The test is actually a massive scary exam, which I doubt very much that I will pass. I'm not even sure if I want to be an academic editor; but at this stage I have nothing to lose by testing for them. The test is due on Monday, so I have to wrap that up this weekend.

Next weekend I start work on my first non-fiction book project, which I expect will take me until the end of May. Another author has asked me to start working on her non-fiction book in June. And yet another author is very keen for me to work on his novel. {I'm not telling you any more about these projects yet - until I get a deposit from each, they're not final!}

And all this on top of having a very demanding day job, a husband to tease and a sweet doggie to snuggle. I must be crazy!

Time to get on with some serious planning...

On perfectionism.

I have a somewhat anxious personality. I worry a lot. Recently this anxiety has been manifesting itself as extreme perfectionism. I basically freak out when I don't do something perfectly - which is most of the time!

Once, a few years ago, one of my bosses told me I was lazy. That's the sort of thing that sticks with me. Because of my responsibilities I work longer hours than almost anyone else; yet every evening when I walk out the office door I still worry that I haven't done enough work. I feel like I need to always justify myself, and I rate my abilities well below that of my colleagues.

In the weekend I finally got my first job on Upwork - YAY! It should have been cause for celebration. Instead I freaked out because after I'd finished the work the client gave me a rating of 4.45 out of 5.

At first I thought this perfectionism was just me being driven. But it's not. Perfectionism comes with a nasty voice tone that constantly says: You're not good enough. Perfectionism will never be satisfied, no matter what I do. Perfectionism never celebrates success.

I'm glad I've recognised these thought patterns early before they rage out of control and ruin any joy in my life! Last night I opened this book, which I highly recommend for anyone struggling with perfectionism. It talks about dealing with the "inner critic", the harsh internal voice that plagues many people - but especially high achieving women.

This morning I'm reminding myself...
I believe in myself.
I've proud of how much I have achieved in the past seven months.
I'm walking confidently towards my goal.
I will succeed.

Why I want to freelance.

Why do I want be a freelancer? Why do I want to give up the security of regular hours and a regular pay cheque, to work irregular hours for irregular pay?

It's simple.

I want to be my own boss.

And I want to work from home.

Does this happen to everyone in middle age? I don't know. What I do know is that I want to decide how I spend my days. I'm an adult, and a capable one; why should I have a boss hanging over my shoulder, or requiring me to sign out every time I walk out of the office?

The work that I do requires me to be around people all day, every day. I have no control over my exposure to people and, as an introvert, that exhausts me. When I come home from work I have no desire to be social; it requires all of my energy to be nice to my husband and dog! {Joking. I love my husband and my dog.}

I have no illusions about freelancing. I know that it will come with its own frustrations like difficult clients and irregular pay days. I know I will be just as subject to deadlines as I am now. The difference is that as a freelancer I will have choices. Difficult clients? Replace them with better clients. Tight deadlines? I could work 5am to 2pm if I wanted, or 5pm to 2am. My schedule would be my own to set.

In January this year I had a "holiday" which I spent, not holidaying, but working on a novel for a client. It was a remarkable experience for such a newbie; and I'll be forever grateful to that author for hiring me. I learned so much about editing! And I also got my first taste of being a freelancer, working from home.

I loved it. I wasn't lonely. I worked really, really hard. During breaks I went out to meet friends for coffee, or prepared dinner, or hung out the washing. While I worked, my dog snoozed beside me on the comfy chair in the pink room that serves as my home office.

This is the life I dream of and plan for myself. One day soon...

Milestone one: begin studying.

I can't remember a time when I didn't love to proofread. I was one of those annoyingly geeky kids at school; the sort that, by about the age of eight, corrects the teacher's punctuation mistakes.

Learning to spell, reading and creative writing were my favourite things to do at school. Nothing made me happier than to get 100 per cent on a spelling test. I grew up in a family of readers, and I read wherever and whenever I could. When my mum sent me outside I would often take a book and climb the big pepper tree in our back garden, sit in the branches and read. I even read {and still do} at the loo!

It was probably inevitable that, like my mum and sister before me, I'd do a BA in English at university, and maybe that would have propelled me into book publishing. Certainly, now, I wish that's what had happened. But my Year 10 English teacher changed all that. He disliked me and actively discouraged my love of English.

I went from being an A student in Year 9, to getting Cs and Ds in Year 10 - and beyond. Because he was the head of department, he had final say in the students' marks, and he would not allow my teachers to give me good marks. I didn't know this until the end of Year 12, when my very favourite teacher, Mr Shepherd, who taught me English that year, took me aside and told me I was among the top students in my year, but that he had been prevented from giving me the A I deserved.

By then the damage had been done. I still loved to read, but I was put off any formal English studies. At university, I studied geography and psychology and other interesting social science subjects, and I ended up with a BA in social anthropology and political science.

For a while, during a time in my twenties when I was unemployed, I dabbled with the idea of being a freelance proofreader. But I was unmotivated, and the internet wasn't widely used back then, so the idea never became a reality.

A few years ago I was on Facebook one evening and up popped an advertisement for a private college offering a diploma course in proofreading and editing. I've always loved that sort of thing, I thought, and immediately downloaded and printed out the course prospectus. I kept it in the back of my journal for ages, taking it out regularly to read it and imagine myself studying those interesting modules.

Last year my husband got some contract work and at last we had enough money for me to enrol in the course. I sent off the application form in early August and forgot about it, expecting that I wouldn't start studying until early 2016. But one morning in late August, when I was sick with the flu, my husband brought in a parcel for me: my course readings and six textbooks! And a starting date of 7th September.

This course has changed my life. It has given me a purpose beyond my corporate job. Before I began studying, I knew I wanted to leave my job but I didn't know what I wanted to do. Now I do - and I have a plan for me to eventually quit my corporate job and become a full-time self-employed proofreader and copy editor, working from home.

This course has also given me the confidence to offer my services as a proofreader and copy editor, and I've found myself editing short stories, a novel, a PhD thesis, website text, public relations copy, and more. I've discovered what I have suspected for a long time: I love this work, and I should have been doing it years ago.

This blog will document my journey from the corporate world to the self-employed world {as well as other stuff that interests me}. Welcome! I hope you enjoy your visit to my little online world.

The rituals of autumn.

I am not an autumn person. Every year I tell myself I'm okay with autumn; that it doesn't matter that the days are getting shorter and colder; that soon winter will be here.

It's all lies. I love summer, and I never want our precious, short summer to leave.

Yet autumn is so beautiful. Look at that gorgeous photo I took at the local beach today: not a breath of wind, low tide, warm water, the tender sunlight that only comes as the sun begins his northward journey.

Even though I never welcome summer's end, there is a progression to autumn's days that makes the part of me that loves ritual happy.

It begins at Lammastide. The weather is at its hottest at this time but, if you are observant of such things {as I am}, you'll notice the sun is starting to set just that little bit later.

Some time in late February the grapes on our massive vine ripen. This makes me very happy. Then there's the start of the rugby league season {we love our rugby league in this house}. The Autumn Equinox, which is the Pagan start of autumn. Feijoa season begins. My husband's football season starts. Daylight saving ends in early April. We light the fire for the first time in early to mid April.

And so it goes ... not always in the same order every year, but close enough to feel familiar.

This year I'm as sad as always about the end of summer, but I am taking comfort in the rituals of autumn as they unfold.

You win some, you lose some

Today was somewhere between a success and a failure.

I found out this morning that I had failed the second proofreading test for a small publishing company that I was hoping to start working for in July. I was shocked: I've never failed a proofreading test before! I aced the first proofreading test, and expected to do the same with the second.

When the managing editor sent through her critique, there were one or two things that I disagreed with. {Would you put "with" on the end of "She hoped to find someone to go."? I did - and the ME marked it as unnecessary.} However, the majority of my 18 mistakes were just that: creaking, nails-down-the-blackboard mistakes. I have no excuses. I mucked up.

I said as much to the managing editor and she sent me a nice email in reply, saying that she had purposely made it fiendishly difficult, and that I had done better than most people. She ended by telling me not to be discouraged.

So there's that.

Right after this, I got notification that yet another Upwork proposal had been rejected. Sigh. I swear I'm going to throw a party when I get my first Upwork job!

On the plus side, this afternoon I emailed the editors of five local arts magazines, offering my services as a proofreader or sub-editor. I've come to realise that my experience in writing about arts could be put to good use as I move into self-employment. So why not give it a try? There are plenty more arts magazines out there - and I intend to approach all of them!

The best news from today was this:

Assignment 6 of my diploma arrived in the mail from my tutor - and I got an A!! My previous assignment received a C grade and the one before that a B. So I was very, very happy to see that perky little A!